Also fuck my mouse you are the worst mouse ever.
And with that, we’re off. So. Today’s post. How am I feeling, doctor man?
Pretty bitchin. Coolio. Rockin. All those good words.
Nope, not going to be emo and whinybitch today, no siree. That’s so last month. I’m too cool for that now.
Cool like Rainbow Dash!
Anyway. Enough rambling. I’ve got two more future things to think about since last postage.
First off, pilotry. Aviation. Whatever you want to call it. Flightering around the skies. For some time I thought this was the coolest thing ever. After all, you’re flying. And I looked into it a bit. There’s a bunch of things you can do with a pilot’s license. You can fly peeps and bitches around for money. You can fly a commercial jet. You can do shit like crop dusting.
Also, stunt flying. This is actually what seemed greatest to me. Pullin G’s like a boss, loopdeloopery and shit. You know it. Actually, being serious here for a second. The satisfaction and amazing feeling of pulling off some incredible maneouver (how the fuck do I spell that?) in the sky sends me the chillies and I think would be wonderful.
So yeah. Flying. You don’t need to study it at college or anything. You can go get it independently. So I might do that.
Nextly, here we go. Something I hadn’t thought much about before. But now that it’s bouncing around in my head it seems amazing and wonderful.
Music. I mean, duh, right? I love music so much. Why did I never think of doing it in college? Music theory is super cool and I’d love to learn all that stuff. Learning more and better musical skills and all that with pitch and chords and composition and arranging sounds really awesome. And there’s a lot you can do!
Actually, something that I was specifically thinking of was doing composing work. I’ve been reading about it a bit, and it sounds great. Firstly, assuming that I like to compose (I do) and that I’m good at it (learn that in class and always improving and also I have good beats and creative musical things I think) then we can look at jobs. Plenty of people do freelance composing for movies, games, theater, TV, etc. And it pays pretty well. And they say that it’s kinda hard even if you’re amazing to stand out to potential employers but name recognition comes with time and if you work something else to get by while you’re building a compositional name then it’s not so bad.
I just love the idea of freelance composition, now that it’s been turning over in my head. Just imagine, not bound by location or time. I can compose anywhere, and I can compose anywhen. Yeah, there’s deadlines, but I can make those. The point is that it’s not 9-5 (unless I want it to be).
I’m just falling in love with the idea of waking up, heading down to the park, composing in my notebook for a while. Then heading out for breakfast. Maybe on the esplanade. Then composing a bit more over my biscuit, looking out over the river. Then maybe I have a club or a class to go to (acting, plane lessons, whatever). Then I have some lunch maybe with some friends. Then I go see a movie or a play or something. Then I compose a bit more before dinner. Then I eat. Then party and bed, or compose some more if I’m feeling it.
And just imagine having a day like that most days. Punctuated by turning in a music and getting a paycheck and looking for a new offer. Granted, all of that I described above could apply to any kind or creative freelance things. But if I like and am good at musical writing, then it would be so perfect.
I know I’m getting ahead of myself here, but it’s just what’s been going on it my head the last few days.
So, another thing I realized from all this soul searching is something very important. That I don’t really know why I didn’t think of this much before.
I know exactly what I’m going to do in college. And this is it:
I’m going to take at least one class in every subject that interests me even a little. (so far, the list seems to be music, psychology, math, aviation, maybe a science like geology, creative writing, etc). And do this for a year or two until I find one that really clicks. I can’t know what will click until I try it. And also having varied classes like that would be nice and educationally perspectivey, like the guy from Quest college was talking about. So I think this is a great idea. No worries about life and future and career and all that crap. Just have fun taking interesting classes (never really get another chance for that) and see if something really latches onto me. That’s what I’m going to do.
So that means that when looking for a college, the important things for me to remember are (a) a large variety of courses, (b) good teachers in most of those courses, (c) good location and aesthetic (if I’m going to enjoy myself, the environment better be conducive to enjoying myself) and maybe (d) something neat about the course structure, like a way to allow more exposition to moar subjects.
And then once I’ve found my cutie mark at that school, I’ll do what I have to do to live it. Grad school, if it’s that sort of thing, or whatever the next step may be. In any case, I don’t have to worry about it right now.
I’ve also been thinking that it might be best to go to an Oregon or Washington college. I’ve thought about going someplace like eastcoast or mild west or somewhere like Colorado. But I dunno. I think that, if I take the view of undergrad school as a place to have fun, learn some experiences, and find the clicking subject, it’d be best to be close to home. I like it here anyways. And it’s really nice to be within a few hours drive of my home town and my house and my parents. I think I would like that.
Especially if I do any sort of Gap program that would shoot me somewhere else for a while; that might satisfy whatever wanderlust I may have and let me peacefully study back near home.
Ooh, I just had a great thought. Imagine heading down to the Schnitzer with my dad to see a symphony that I COMPOSED. That would be so great. *sigh*
So, what else?
Oh. I got my driver’s license. Now I’m free. Hee hee.
So about the close to home thing up there. I had another thought. Part of me is so scared that it’s going to be BOOM OFF TO COLLEGE NEVER SEE FAMILY AGAIN LIVE YOUR OWN LONELY LIFE BY YOURSELF ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
But it doesn’t have to be like that at all. During and/or after college, especially if I stayed close, life wouldn’t be that much crazier. I’d not be a real adult yet. I’d still be a young person. Doing young person things. Being with my friends. Seeing my family often. Bumbling around the minefield of love.
Most of all, I’d still be me. I’m not going to change just because I’m older and wiser. I’d still be me. Cameron. Nobody else. I think that I forgot that for a bit when I was afraid for the future. I’m not going anywhere. I think I was afraid that I was going to lose myself and become somebody else when I grew up. But that’s just not true. I’ll still be me.
I’ll still be me. And that is so cool.